My experience of Bipolar Disorder
Feelings
My experience on bipolar disorder has been characterized by extreme mood swings that often trigger high emotions (mania) and low emotions (depression). With the bipolar I disorder, I experience some levels of agitation in the vast majority of things that happen around me. I am triggered by minor actions that cause anger and the potential urge to rush out. Also, feeling of the loud silence of isolation that prompts moods of worthlessness and lack of appreciation from other people is part of my experience (Vieta et al., 2018). This induces the feelings of lack of sleep and fatigue, which causes a heavy toll on my mental capacity. Thus, culminating to the lack of ability to make wise decisions. Instead, I can commit all my funds to drink – which potentially exposes my life to the risk of drug addiction.
Thoughts
When mood swings kick in, extensive views where I tend to question everything follows. I also tend to ask myself why some people do not appreciate my values and efforts or tend to see me as a weak being. This is associated with thoughts of worthlessness, giving in to failure and worries that I might never recover from the problem (Vieta et al., 2019). Occasionally, I develop negative personal perception, depressive thoughts, hopelessness, and lack of value, and I’m worried that these could lead to my harm. This is triggered by the need to end the suffering than being exposed to continued depression and anxiety over minor issues.
Signs and Symptoms
The signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder disease that I have experienced primarily include the prevalence of anxiety and melancholy. Stress is presented in the decisions that I make as well as the care and protection I need to maintain my wellbeing. This is vastly impossible as there is no value in protecting my life. The incidences of the melancholy manifested range from the fear of rejection by others, including close family members, fear of becoming unsuccessful, continued feelings of sadness and builds in a sad state as well as instability of my mental health (Bobo, 2017). The development of psychosis on the problems manifesting in my life due to the bipolar disorder leads to the worsening of the problem. The obsession to try and find a solution and being overwhelmed by reality presents a potential breakdown. Thus, it posits the likelihood of developing into bipolar II disorder.
Development of the Disorder
The environment is the major leading cause of bipolar disorder I have developed. Having been born and brought in a stable family for the early years of development, I consider myself a morally right and healthy person. However, exposure to family squabbles and conflicts between parents could also erode an individual’s mental capacity, primarily when it occurs over a while (McCormick et al., 2015). Due to extensive thinking, anxiety, and prevalence of fear, I developed bipolar disorder. My fear follows the rejection by others; they need to prove to myself that I can lead a better life and the urge to become successful in life. The difficulties experienced and triggers of development stress and adverse thoughts are significant causes of the problem.
The reaction of Others Towards You
At times, I tend to see other people avoiding my company for fear of what I might do to them. The potential of rushing out on others has made close friends to always evade my company. When others fear what one could do to them because of mental instability, and depression is always associated with the victim leading his/her own life (Baldessarini et al., 2020). The avoidance and rejection by other people drive to the escalation of the problem, which serves as an indicator and confirmation that I am sick and suffer from a severe problem. The occurrences of constant avoidance and chase by other people make it worse – an assertion to the thoughts of worthlessness. Such issues induce pain and hurtful thoughts, especially when someone has to treat me with caution or avoids me.
Necessary Steps to Help in Recovery
Seeking professional help has been fundamental to my attempts to acquire a cure for the problem. I have had a long history of continued medications and psychotherapy exercises to enable my ability to control anger, anxiety, feelings of sadness, and worthlessness. Psychotherapy sessions with a psychiatrist have proven to be essential since I discuss and air out my thoughts and feelings (Mclntyre & Calabrese, 2019). The guidance offered has been crucial to managing and maintaining a high level of control over negative thoughts and feelings. The commitment to physical exercises, practices of relaxation and meditation, and soothing music have been used during my treatment sessions to ensure a controlled level of anxiety. The treatment of mental health has been a significant feature of my steps towards recovery.
Help from Others
The most important thing I would ask from other people is support, understanding, and care. A show of compassion is critical to my healing. I would like others to understand that it was not my wish to be sick or experience such levels of depression and anxiety (Bonnin et al., 2019). It would be essential to experience compassion, love, and care from my family and relatives since their concern promotes my health and happiness. Thus, support is the most crucial thing as it will evade me from negative thoughts and feelings that trigger negative mood swings.
