Rewriting and Critiquing the proposal

In this assignment, you will be rewriting and critiquing the proposal provided in the document, A Proposal Template [DOCX]. There are at least six improvements to be made in the document. Your job is to identify the six improvements and then, using track changes, rewrite or fix the errors. Also, using the comments tool, give a brief explanation to why it is wrong and why you fixed it the way you did.

Instructions

  • This is a formal proposal. This means you should be reviewing and editing the proposal with an eye toward global issues: organization, professional tone, readability, relevance, et cetera.
  • Refer to your textbook as a need to review how considerations such as organization, professional tone, readability, relevance, et cetera may need to be approached differently in a proposal compared to other forms of technical writing you have demonstrated in this course.
  • There will be local errors to fix, but do not lose sight of the global issues that impact the proposal’s coherence and professionalism.

Note: If your word processing program does not have track changes, you will need to insert comments in brackets using red font at the improvement location.

In your document, you should:

  • Identify at least six proposal weaknesses using track changes.
  • Include a critique paragraph of at least 150 words at the end of the document that summarizes the weaknesses.
  • Discuss improvements for each of the weaknesses in your critique.
  • Ensure both the comments and critique are concise and error-free.

This course requires the use of Strayer Writing Standards. For assistance and information, please refer to the Strayer Writing Standards link in the left-hand menu of your course. Check with your professor for any additional instructions.

The specific course learning outcome associated with this assignment is:

  • Critique a proposal to identify areas of weakness and suggest improvements.

 

Proposal for Plant Service

Problem and Solution

Mason Office Center is a lovely Georgian building containing four offices. However, the interior is not attractive or inviting for clients/customers and employees. The off-white walls throughout the complex seem dull and boring, adjectives the tenants do not want associated with their businesses. In addition, the air in the building is musty and unpleasant at times.

Green Thumb Planting can provide and maintain a beautiful plantscape in the building that will attract visitors and employees as well as purify the air and introduce more oxygen. Research shows that people respond positively to interiors with at least two plants per room. These changes can be made in an unobtrusive, cost-effective manner.

Objectives of Proposed Plan

Installing plantings in Mason Office Center will give visitors and employees a more appealing and cleaner environment, producing positive feelings and greater productivity.

Background

I have been in the interior plant maintenance business for 32 years and have owned and operated Green Thumb Planting for the last seven years. All associates with Green Thumb Planting take pride in their work, and Green Thumb is happy to provide references.

Methods

Within two weeks of your signing a contract, our design team will interview you and produce a plan showing installation, including the number and types of plants, color and design of containers, and placement. The team will adjust the plan according to your preference.

 

Furthermore, Green Thumb is concerned about the environment and thus uses only organic methods. No harmful chemicals are used in its plantscapes.

Based on Green Thumb’s design formula, the building could use 31 large and 14 medium-sized low-light plants. Green Thumb’s service agreement provides plants and pots, weekly maintenance, and monthly replacement of weak plants.

Scheduling

When a plan is agreed upon, Green Thumb will schedule installation within one week. Installation can be accomplished during the evening hours to avoid interrupting your tenants’ business activities. All soil and materials will be brought into the building in specially designed trolleys to prevent spillage and damage to floors. I anticipate being able to complete the job in two nights. Once the plantscape is installed, Green Thumb Planting staff will visit Mason Office Center once a week to maintain the plants.

Capabilities and Qualifications of Personnel

I have a BS degree in landscape design and 32 years of experience in the business. In addition, all personnel have undergone thorough background and criminal checks and are bonded. Your satisfaction with Green Thumb’s plantings and employees are guaranteed.

Budget

The installation cost is $923.40, and the monthly maintenance fee is $75.00 per month. You will incur no other charges to have an inviting, attractive, clean green environment in Mason Office Building.

 

Installation costs include the following:

 

31 large                                             6 braided ficus trees at $25 each                                           $150.00

6 chamaedorea palms at $20                                                  120.00

10 herb topiaries at $20                                                                      200.00

9 Chinese evergreens at $25                                                  225.00

14 medium

5 moth orchids at $15                                                                           $  75.00

9 angel ivy at $15                                                                             135.00

SUBTOTAL                                                                                                                                  $905.00

Tax                                       8%                                                                                                   72.40

TOTAL                                                                                                                                          $977.40

 

Conclusion

For an effortless, inexpensive, attractive, clean environment at Mason Office Center, accept Green Thumb’s proposal. Please send a memorandum of acceptance to Green Thumb Planting, 101 Sienna Way, Ayden, NC 28513-7101.

 

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